My Dilemma With Parrot

It's been almost a year since I last updated this blog.  Now that I am making major changes to The Healthy Moms Magazine I might actually have more time to write here as well.  We'll see. I can not make any promises.

Last night I had a very interesting conversation with Parrot.  Parrot is my very special little five-year-old boy with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD, formally Asperger's).  He is extremely high-functioning and I believe he may have a genius IQ, although I haven't had him tested yet.

I heard him making noise in his bedroom shortly after 9pm last night, when he was supposed to be asleep. So, I went up to investigate.  Parrot stated that he could not get to sleep because he was worried that he would have a bad dream.  He said he needed me to stay up there with him to help him figure out what makes him happy so that he doesn't have a bad dream.  We have used this strategy in the past when he couldn't sleep.  

I asked Parrot if school made him happy. He said, "I like Miss [teacher's name] and my friend Chris.  I am just as smart as Chris but he is in second grade.  Miss [teacher's name] only teaches grades Kindergarten, First and Second.  I do second grade math with Chris but I am bored and frustrated instead of being happy because I am too smart for second grade."

Because he is considered special needs, Parrot is in the Special Education class as well as the regular Kindergarten.  They want to transition him into the mainstream classroom slowly.  Currently he is with his Kindergarten class for P.E, Music, and journal writing. Upon asking him if he likes being in the Kindergarten class he replied, "I am too smart for journal writing, P.E and music. I am not happy in [Kindergarten Teacher's Name]'s class."

So this is my dilemma.  As a parent I have no idea what I should do.  I want my child to be happy in school but I also want him to be able to learn the social skills that he needs in order to function in society. His special ed teacher wants him to learn how to socialize with his peers.  But I know that he needs to be in a higher grade level academically.

Tony Attwood, the world's leading expert on Asperger's when asked whether a child with Asperger's should be placed in school based on their academic level, or their chronological level, states: "If he's say, grade 4 chronologically, but grade 8 academically - it depends on the individual child obviously - but generally I would say to place them with the grade 8 kids. Many of the kids with AS aren't there to socialize, they're there to learn. And, one of the things that they hate is other kids disrupting the classroom. But watch out for grade 8 though, because the kids at that level want only to give their teachers a nervous breakdown. You've got to chose their teachers wisely. If you say that if they have got to be with their peer group, you've got to look at each case individually, but you need some flexibility. Actually, many of these kids have been home schooled, and gone on to university quite successfully. They don't appear to have suffered from the lack of social interaction as teenagers."

I don't want to home school Parrot. I believe that I just have to work with the school district and see what they can do to meet his individual needs.  He is different than other kids his age and he knows it.

My kids are attending a brand new school in the fall.  I am hopeful that after an IEP meeting with his current special ed teacher (whom is going to be at the new school too) and the principal of the new school we can come up with an education plan that will challenge Parrot academically while offering the help he needs to socialize with other kids.  But I can see this as an ongoing struggle for him until he graduates high-school.

Update About this Blog

I noticed that I have been getting a lot of comments on old posts. I don't understand why because I do not update this blog anymore.  My social media business and other blog, The Healthy Moms Magazine is taking up so much of my time that I am unable to update this blog.  I have closed commenting here and will not check on the comments. Please do not leave me one, or even attempt to leave a comment here.  If you are trying to reach me or contact me please visit thehealthymoms.net.  You are welcome to comment over there.

Thank you!

Cascia Talbert

Having a Rough Day

It seems like the only time I ever update this blog is when I am upset, under stress or like today, just having a bad day.  I guess this blog is my place to vent.

Today is my son's fifth Birthday.  But that doesn't make my day any better.  He loves playing computer games and there is this one game that he has that is super hard.  It is a physics game called Osmos.  I still don't understand the object of the game but for some reason he thought that once his fifth birthday came around he would magically figure out how to win Osmos.

Of course when I put the game on the computer for him it wasn't easier like he thought it would be.  After throwing two major temper tantrums I took the computer away from him for the rest of the day.  I told him that even on his birthday he still has to behave.

It thunder stormed last night and I think the storm kept everyone up because all of the animals in the zoo are acting up today. I don't remember the last time I had a good night's sleep.

For the past couple of years I have been on an emotional high. We moved out of crazy California and we now live in a nice neighborhood. I had another baby a year and a half ago.  My husband loves his job and I was happy for him.  But for some reason this morning I have been in tears and I think my depression has returned.

I love my children and the Pacific Northwest is beautiful but, this is not home.  My husband works from 7am-7pm and is out of town on overnights a lot so I feel like a single mom most of the time.  When 6pm rolls around I am beat and crave alone time, which never happens.  I have asked for just one hour on Friday nights to myself but of course that hasn't happened either. 

I have also been suffering from insomnia for a long, long time now.  It doesn't matter how tired I am every single night I just lie in bed awake. It takes me at least three hours to fall asleep. I've tried several herbal remedies and over the counter sleeping pills but nothing works.

The combination of lack of sleep, having to take care of children who only listen to me half of the time without the help of my husband, and being away from all my friends and family for so long has taken its toll.  I feel like I am stuck in a hole and will never get out.  I am supposed to be supportive of my husband and be patient with him. But this is so hard to do.

His job is here so I have to be here too. Although, he has suggested that I take the kids and move back home.  I know I will be happier there but I can not do that to our children.  They need their father so I will not take them away from him.  But what about me? He's hardly ever home anyway. 

I am a good Catholic, or I at least try to be a good Catholic.  And the Catholic Church says that divorce is wrong and marriage is for life.  It doesn't matter how unhappy I am with my marriage I need to stick it out.  He is the man that I chose so I need to try my best to be a good wife no matter what. 

When we moved out of Wisconsin in 2008 my husband said that the move was going to be temporary.  I knew that someday we would move back home and I could return to the life that I loved.  But I am running out of patience.  I don't know how much longer I can do this. 

I don't have any friends here.  I missed out on a lot that has happened back home.  I miss my parents and my old life.